Chill everything first. Make sure your watermelon has spent at least four hours in the fridge. When you cut into it, the flesh should feel cold and firm against your palm, and the juice should run clear and pink rather than cloudy. Warm watermelon turns mushy the moment it meets salt, so this step matters more than any other.

Soften the onion. Slice the red onion as thinly as you can manage, then drop the slices into a small bowl of ice-cold water and leave them for ten minutes. This pulls out the harsh sulphur bite. Drain well and pat dry — the slices should look translucent and smell sweet rather than sharp.

Cube the watermelon. Cut the flesh into roughly 2 cm cubes and tip them straight into your serving bowl. You'll see the cut surfaces glisten and release a little juice at the bottom — that's exactly what you want, because it becomes part of the dressing.

Whisk the dressing. In your small jar, combine the olive oil, lime juice, honey, fine sea salt, and black pepper. Screw the lid on and shake hard for ten seconds. The mixture should turn pale and slightly thickened, and when you sniff it you'll catch the lime first and the honey underneath.

Add the onion and herbs. Scatter the drained onion over the watermelon, then add the torn mint and basil. Tear the leaves rather than chopping them — chopped mint bruises and goes dark within minutes, while torn leaves keep their bright green edges.

Toss gently and dress. Pour the dressing over everything and fold it through with salad servers, lifting from the bottom rather than stirring. You want the watermelon to stay in cubes, not collapse into a pulp. The salad should look glossy but not swimming.

Add the feta last. Scatter the feta cubes over the top and give just two or three gentle folds. The cheese should stay in visible chunks, and the white against the pink and green is what makes this salad look like something you'd pay for at a deli.

Finish and rest for five minutes. Sprinkle over the pistachios, pumpkin seeds, and a pinch of flaky sea salt. Let the bowl sit on the counter for five minutes so the flavours settle, then serve. You'll know it's ready when the feta has taken on a faint pink blush from the watermelon juice.